ασυνάρτηζιες

- would you care to jot a few lines for us, andrew? it's going to help you put away the stress and the hyperactive surge of creativity which eats you from inside, at moments like this
- well, of course, i will try and do my best. for everyone's benefit.
- so, please, do begin
- okay, well, i wanted to say something but forgot. ah, now, it might not feel as interesting actually, but, well, everything began from the weather this morning, and especially the way it looks from our windows. it was that i wanted to say good day to someone, but it came perfectly naturally to me to wish good evening, since it was so overcast outside, and inside, that it seemed like a real evening. Maybe this is because we lost touch with rainy weather in general, after like four months of constant sun, heat, and mirages.
- so, did you actually say good evening instead of good morning?
- no
- okay
- and i was kind of axious today, maybe because of the weather, or the anxiousness in the air in general - a few things on my mind, formal matters, chunks of uneasiness. see - i'm too lazy.
- oh, don't worry, we are all like that sometimes.
- really? i don't think so. i think i am especially lazy.
- who told you that?
- no, it's me, i think this way.

[pause]

[listening to We Are Enfant Terrible, and thinking about this kind of music, that it already sounds bit dated, this dirtyish bit funky Gossip/Bloc Party-style rock mix with some electronics and (dream)pop aesthetics - although i think i really liked this one)



and .... somehow this reminds me of Nick Cave's "The Carny" or Dead Can Dance's "The carnival is over" ... while supposedly being a different style of music alltogether.. i think it's delightful..


back in the doctor's office
someplace much further in time axis
- hey, matthew, wake up... wake up, you snot - what?
- snot
- what? where am i? and who is matthew?
- you are at a doctor's office. in the middle of a psychoanalysis session. i am your doctor. you are my ...
- ...
- so, in any case, would you please continue your reverie?
- nghhhh
- please, say anything, anything that comes to mind. any thoughts you've had lately? any worries?
- well, millions of things
- would you care to put all them in a song? a frolic? a charade? "charade you are" as goes in that Pink Floyd song
- well, ok, I'll try
- aaah nice, you started to capitalize your "I", eh?
- oops
[there is a kind of silence in the air. you can hear a fly buzz somewhere near the sunny window. and water dripping slowly in the small white toilet with freshly painted walls. smell of paint. or was it alabaster?]

"I feel like giving birth to a song.."
"τριν τριν τρομ.."

- hm, what if the song that comes to me is in another language?
- aaah don't worry, just make it natural and from the heart
- okay, I...

τριν τριν τρομ.. / μπιμ μπαμ ζλόν.. / με την ελπίδα σαν το κόκκαλο / στα δόντια περπατάμε, / ταμ ταμ ταμ, / στα σκουτάδια, να βρουμε ενα μέρος / με χώμα κατάλληλο, να την θάψουμε / το ρημάδι, / σλιμ κλιμ τριμ.. / για αργότερα, όσο για τους μπούληδες, / ασε καλύτερα μη συνεχίσω, / τσαφ τραφ γκαφ

[more of the silence of the same quality, thick, juicy, expectant silence, i just don't seem to relax, while someone outside switches on a radio with a morning variety program...]

.. όταν κάνετε ντους να σκέφτεστε ότι το νερό ξεπλένει όλη την βρώμα, όλη την απογοήτευση, όλη την μιζέρια που έχει μαζευτεί ξωπάνω σας κατά την διάρκεια της μέρας (ή των ημερών, αναλόγως την περίπτωση), και υπουλώνει όλες τις ψυχικές πληγές, και λύνει όλα τα σφιξήματα.. κάντε μια προσπάθεια τουλάχιστον, δεν βλάπτει...

και εγώ σκέφτομαι ...

όταν θέλω να βρίσω κάποιον, αμέσως μετά (το βρίσημο) ντρέπομαι τρομερά, σαν να διαισθάνομαι το βάρος της αμαρτίας που με καταπλακώνει ακόμα πιο πολύ, τώρα πια.. και μουσική τσι αμαρτίας να συνοδεύει την κάθοδο (στην κόλαση, βέβαια..)



δεν μου έχει διαφύγει μια τάση αυτών εδώ απο πάνω να δείχνουν λίγο περίεργοι.. όχι φρικιά.. το αντίθετο, αν καταλαβαίνετε τι θέλω να πω. είναι κρίμα, γιατί το συγκεκριμένο τραγούδι είναι πολύ ωραίο. και δεν βρίσκω και καμια πληροφορία να το διασταυρώσω..

περισσότερη μουσική αμαρτίας
στυλετεύει την σιωπή
κλέβει απο αμηχανία
την λήθη
δημιουργεί ρογμές
στην συνείδηση