great

the day i chose to start watching "stranger things"

after all these small things that had to be done, little responsibilities coming out of the blue and making me worry, having all them done, resulting in another bout of some drinking, and a bit more, and now worrying whether this culminates in just me dying.

we don't die so easily, do we?

it's terrible to think that whatever i write now may be the last thing that i write.

my cat had a mishap and landed in its bowl of water, freaking out and throwing both bowls of water around and then licking its pitiful fur being all wet, i tried to dry it with a towel, it's okay now, i think.

i was looking at the plants on the balcony, looking at them and thinking that these plants will die, having sucked out all energy from the poor earth they've been thriving on all these years, me having no energy to replenish the earth, or water them consistently, it just makes me sorry to have to water them ever so seldom just to help them sustain their greenness, while without water they seem like they're doomed. i never wanted to be their father, i always wanted them to grow on the wild and having no parents, no sustainers attached.

if i wake up tomorrow, i'll...

i don't know what i will do. everything will get back to the same old washing machine cycle. pity, guilt, frustration, acceptance, complacency.

just the left hand talking?