lit up

maybe sometimes
small things can lighten you up
like a bulb
a small 40 watt bulb
sometimes it's enough
to light up the space around you
sufficiently to stray attention
from unnecessary
running around the same
uneasy stuff
that might be pestering you



it's help from above
there's nothing more important
than to make things easier
in your mind
(as that jesus & mary chain / sandoval song title again - but don't care about the lyrics)

what made me lighten up a bit
was the book i am reading at the moment
it's called white apples and it's by
a certain jonathan carrol
and it's written (as wikipedia nicely points out above)
in magical realist style
that i finally adore
in many books
by many authors
(including my beloved "Little, Big" by John Crowley and "Master And Margarita" by M. Bulgakov, as well as Neil Gaiman's books)
and it talks about love
and memory
and hope (in general)
and life/death circle thing
and is an engaging fast read
in general

so wish there are always things in your life that might lighten you up when it's kind of dark around the place
let's search for those things when we need them

merry funny scary

σκεφτόμουν πόσο ο ήχος της σταγόνας που πέφτει απο την όχι καλά κλειστή βρύση μοιάζει με το τικ-τακ του ρολογιού. άλλες φορές ενοχλητικός σε σημείο εκνευρισμού, και άλλες φορές περίεργα αδιάφορος, ο συνοδηπόρος σου όταν είσαι ξαπλωμένος και δεν υπάρχει λόγος να σηκωθείς, και ζήτημα είναι αν υπάρχει λόγος για οτιδήποτε γενικά.
πλικ. πλικ. πλικ. πλικ. πλικ.
δεν σταματάει ποτέ, με εκνευριστικό πείσμα προχωράει προς την αιωνιότητα, και με υπομονή τονίζει την αν-ηχία και την μοναξιά, την έλλειψη επιθυμίας, το κενό. και μια υποβόσκουσα αίσθηση ανισυχίας.
παω να φαω, και θα επιχειρήσω να δω καμια ταινία.
πλικ. πλικ.


καθε πρωί κατεβαίνω μέ το μετρό ως τον σταθμό Κεραμεικό ή κατα κόσμον Γκάζι, για να πάω στην δουλειά. σας συνιστώ και σας ανεπιφύλακτα κάποια στιγμή να το δοκιμάσετε, λόγω της εξής ανεπανάλυπτης εμπειρίας που βιώνει κανείς ανεβαίνοντας απο τα έγκατα του σταθμού στο επίπεδο του δρόμου. μετά την πρώτη κυλιόμενη σκάλα βγαίνεις στο μέρος που αρχίζουν και το αγγίζουν οι ακτίνες του ηλίου που βγαίνουν απο την γυάλινη οροφή λίγο πιο πέρα. η οροφή αυτή είναι ακριβώς απο πάνω απο ενα μεγάλο χωλ, για να βγεις στο οποίο ανεβαίνεις και άλλες σκάλες. λοιπόν οι σκάλες αυτές λόγω του προσανατολισμού της κατασκευής προφανώς φωτίζονται απο τον ήλιο που εκείνη την στιγμή ανατέλλει και τα πάντα που ανεβαίνουν και κατεβαίνουν σε αυτές (άνθρωποι, χειραποσκευές, ρομπότ, μύγες) είναι σαν να έχουν μια αύρα ουράνια.. μπαίνεις και συ πάνω στις κυλιόμενες, και είναι σαν να ανεβαίνεις απο τα βάθη του κόσμου σε εκείνο το ενδιάμεσο μέρος μεταξύ γής και ουρανού που στα αγγλικά το λένε purgatory, και στα ελληνικά.. αχέμ.. να το πω καθαρτήριο; :Ρ νομίζω κάτι άλλο είναι αλλά λέμε τώρα. και καθώς ανεβαίνεις αρχίζεις και βλέπεις την υιάλινη οροφή και τον ήλιο που σε χαιρετά απο πάνω, και είναι σαν να βλέπεις τον παράδεισο.. είναι μια πραγματικά καθαρτική διαδικασία την ώρα που στέκεσαι εκεί πάνω στην κυλιόμενη, και ανεβαίνεις, και βλέπεις εκείνο το φως.. έτσι κάθε πρωί εγώ είναι σαν να ανεβαίνω στο purgatory αυτό και να παίρνω ματιές στον παράδεισο. κάθε πρωί όμως.

και μετά πηγαίνω δουλεια...

γαμάτα το έχουν φτιάξει τον σταθμό εκεί του Κεραμεικού.. γενικά οι διάφανες οροφές με φυσικό φως κωλολένε :Ρ αφήστε με να αλανοεκφραστώ λίγο.. παμ. παμ. παμ.

ιιιχ. ουμφ.. :(

no stuff.

πόσα πράγματα μπορεί να φτιάξει κανείς διαλύοντας μεταλλικούς συνδετήρες.. - πολλά.

αυτό είναι μια παλιότερη φωτογραφία απο τον σταθμό του μετρό στον Κεραμεικό, απο το απογευμα, και οχι πρωί που σας έλεγα, και απο τις αρχές καλοκαιριού όταν ο ήλιος κοιτούσε απο λίγο διαφορετική γωνιά.


την λέγανε Αγάπη
και 'κείνον κυρ' Κιλό
και λέγανε οι γείτωνες
τι γίνεται μ'αυτούς τους δυό;

μα η αγάπη δεν ξέρει όρια
και αν δώσεις μου να πιώ
θα σκέφτομαι τετράγωνα
Αγάπη με το Κιλό..


met another missionary
if you want to find way to God
go and take a long sit in Sintagma Square
like all squares
it thrives with missionaries of all sorts
mostly Christian
bizarrely dogmatic
this time it was about our Heavenly Mother
two Korean girls
trying out their crooked Greek
and English.
and making a big theater of disappointment
when I didn't give them my mobile phone number
they wanted us to go and eat some Korean food
and talk about Christ and our God Mother
hell, I can hardly imagine how it would be like
this would be a nice setting for an ironic story
at times it seems that God himself appointed
so many people to go and put Me on the right
path and save Me
but it's just (as you pointed out)
that I'm sitting and walking too much
around without having anything to do
and willing to talk to whoever passes by
and speaks to me
(talk to me, talk to me...)
my god, this time they got a video with them
they showed me two small presentations
about how we need to believe in the Heavenly Mother
on those gimmicky portable dvd players
that's what I call progress!
one sat on my right, the other on my left.
the one on my right was the prettiest.
and think about the squeaky noises they made
when I said (politely) that, sorry, I wouldn't like to hear
more stuff like this another time.
like they were talking to a baby, or something.
once I had a good discussion with a kind of a missionary
and it took place on Leicester Square
i don't remember what it went like :)
but at least we didn't stuggle to understand each other
and we talked about my forever view that
it doesn't usually take a missionary to convert you
to some faith..
if someday you believe in something,
it will come from your own heart.
this is also usually a good and sincere way to
call it quits with whatever childish way one
tries to talk to you about religion.

let's talk about love.


i have just finally (but not ultimately, as goes with books like this) finished reading the un..bearable lightness of being by Milan Kundera, which was oh a long but a good read in general. it usually takes me less time to read books, but this one's reading.. took me unprepared.. or whatever..

it is said to be his most acclaimed work of fiction, and i don't doubt it, having read the book of laughter and forgetting and immortality before, but not remembering much, since it was a long time ago that i read them. i liked the fact that there's a lot of shifting in time, and between characters, and there are loads of philosophical musings on current themes like... :)

now it strikes me again, that there are two words in greek - αγάπη and έρωτας, which in their own context would be translated to english with a single word - love. with an important difference of being in love against loving someone.. there are loads and loads of interesting thoughts there, which i cannot embrace with a single read.. about love, sexual attraction, about the way politics and religion get in touch with human personality and our basic needs, etc. etc...

one really wonderful passage that i liked was about man being expelled from Paradise against animals who weren't.. and that men perhaps are not able to love one another like they would love their pet (and the pet them), because one essential part of our mutual loving is to constantly search the answering love in the eyes of our beloved.. we demand to be loved too.. and it seems logical.. but the love of animals is undemanding. anyway, many contradictions too, perhaps.. but the thoughts are interesting.


it's funny now to be writing in english, and feeling that i miss my greek a bit. i just thought to write in english to freshen this stuff a bit. i remember that i used to enjoy writing in english very much. but due to various facts (me no longer searching for pen-pals, and having almost stopped writing letters altogether) i haven't written in english for a long long time, or so it seems.

greek has acquired a kind of closeness and warmth for me now, while english stays my choice for artistic/poetic expression, i still feel a bit clumsy, say, writing a poem in greek, and moreover, telling it to someone. in that case, english seems somehow a bit formal, but also "higher" language.. i wonder if it will one day become warm and sincere form of expression for me.. the majority of the books i read are still in english.


kefir - fermented milk beverage which may contain <1-2 percent alcohol. lately i grew to like it somehow.




abit abit..